Conch Republic Independence Celebration
Key West, FL -"We celebrate our Independence annually in a 'public and notorious manner..'" says the Honorable Sir Peter Anderson, Secretary General of the Conch Republic.
Huh? "Secretary General?" "Conch Republic?" What the heck's going on around here? Well, it's time for the 20th Annual Conch Republic Independence Celebration, a sort of cross between Fantasy Fest and the 4th of July, as staged by Fellini!
Don't believe us? Well, it kicks off with a Conch Shell Blowing Contest at Schooners Wharf Bar, which is followed the next morning by The Great Conch Republic Drag Race... and we ain't talking cars here.
Before we get into any more of the activities, a little bit of history is in order...
Key West seceded from the Union in 1982. It's true... well, sort of. In early spring of that year, the US Border Patrol erected a blockade on US Highway 1 at Florida City in an effort to keep out illegal immigrants.
On April 23rd of 1982 then-mayor Dennis Wardlow read a proclamation of secession, broke a loaf of stale Cuban bread over the head of a 'US Navy' sailor, and then surrendered to the US Admiral in charge of the Key West naval base and demanded $1 billion in foreign aid to rebuild the Republic!
The United States Government, in an act typically short-sighted, failed to acknowledge the secession. This act, or lack of an act, led Conch natives to declare their sovereignty by right of International Law, or something to that effect.
Whatever the case, for twenty years Key West has celebrated its Independence in high style. This year's theme is 'Round Up the Unusual Suspects.' Authentic Key West, both the theme and the fact that there is a theme...
The Honorable Sir Peter also points out that, "As the world's first 'Fifth World' country, we exist as a 'State of Mind,' and aspire only to bring more Warmth, Humor and Respect to a planet we find in sore need of all three."
When Key West throws a party you can fully expect it to be over the top, and their Independence Celebration certainly is that! Here's a brief rundown of this year's events...
On Friday, April 19th, everything starts with the Kick Off Party at the Schooner Wharf Bar. This is where the famous Conch Shell Blowing Contest takes place... how's that for authentic Key West? A conch shell, a pointless contest, a bar... perfect.
Saturday the 20th starts with the Great Conch Republic Drag Race Contest in the 700 block of Duval Street. The "pits" open at noon, with the time trials beginning at 2pm. Sponsored by 801 Bourbon Bar, Bourbon Street Pub and WEOW 92.5.
From 4 - 7pm catch the Great Conch Republic Folk Festival at the Green Parrot Bar with Spider John Koerner and Dave Ray. Immediately after, the Conch Republic Royal Family Investiture Party kicks the party into high gear. This is one Royal event that won't end at midnight!
Sunday the 21st is set aside for the Grand Conch Republic Military and Ambassador's Ball at Crabby Bill's... the celebration continues on Tuesday. Yep, the Conch's are taking Monday off to rest!
Highlights of week of the 23rd include a re-enactment of the secession at Mallory Square at noon on Tuesday, the "World's Longest Parade" down Duval from the Atlantic Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. This is billed as an "impromptu" parade, meaning everyone can - and will - join in!
Friday the 26th is a BIG day... at noon the Conch flag is raised over Fort Zachary Taylor, kicking off the Great Battle for the Conch Republic. A naval parade is followed by the Great Battle... we won't even try to explain it! Just make sure you don't miss it.
There're more parties, food fests, bed races, fiddler contests, car shows, and even a Wrecker's Race, that re-enacts the wrecking tradition of Key West ship wreckers.
If you've been thinking of a Key West trip,
you'll be hard pressed to find a better time to go than during the Conch
Independence Celebration. The weather's perfect, the winter crowds have thinned
out some, and the Celebration is over a week of grand entertainment! 
