A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Likeso many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberalDemocrat, and was very much in favor of a redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunchRepublican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lecturesthat she had participated in and the occasional chat with a
professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to highertaxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfareprograms. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.

He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, sheanswered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him knowthat it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her notime to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't evenhave time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many collegefriends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audreydoing?" "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easyclasses, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus, college for her is a blast. She's always invitedto all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for
classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to yourfriend who only has a 2.0. That Way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and
certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrilyfired back, "That wouldn't be fair!! I have worked really hard formy grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work!! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!!

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to theRepublican Party."

that's funny!
ppl coming to complain in 3...2....1...

I hope you're ready.

It was perfect Super!

Subject: The Republican of the 21st Century



> Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
>
> Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
> Clinton.
>
> Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's
> daddy
> made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a
> bad
> guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
>
> Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
> with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
>
> The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
> highest
> national priority is enforcing U.N. Resolutions against Iraq.
>
> A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
> multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
> without regulation.
>
> The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
> speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
>
> If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
>
> A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,
> then
> demand their cooperation and money.
>
> Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
> health care to all Americans is socialism.
>
> HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
> heart.
>
> Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
> creationism should be taught in schools.
>
> A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
> offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
> thousands die is solid defense policy.
>
> Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
> Constitution,
> which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
>
> The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
> George
> Bush's driving record is none of our business.
>
> Bill Clinton spent 8 years trying to secretly kill Osama Bin Laden
> without taking the lives of thousands of innocent people and American
> soldiers. He is accused of doing nothing and being the bad guy. Bush
> has spent 5 years trying to openly kill Osama Bin Laden while taking
> the
> lives of thousands of innocent people and American Solders and
> invading
> two separate countries to do it, but he is the good guy.
>
> Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
> conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
> for your recovery.
>
> What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but
> what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.

Yeah... and?

There is no and... This is supposedly the "moral" party. Newt Gingrich, look what you started...

Oh, I was waiting for a punchline.

Actually, there's several things on that list I disagree with. I don't know if I can claim to be a republican anymore. I guess I'll have to give back my super secret decoder ring that decodes Bush's evil messages.

He was being sarcastic when he said and... I think lol

Things You Have to Believe to Be a Democrat Today
By Jay D. Dyson.
Just to balance out the Things you have to Believe to be a Republican Today posting that generated so many comments.

Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.


The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.


Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.


Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are "political opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a criminal's spree killing is "a logical solution."


"It Takes a Village" means everything you want it to mean...except creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear family.


Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.


Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and rapists is BAD.


Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.


The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every move. This will let them know they're thought of often.


Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of the United States.


Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.


Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.


Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and luxury.


The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."


We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies, even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested economic interests in propping up our enemies.


Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical community can't provide.


Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.


John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to research misconduct over his book "Arming America").


Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but Clinton's lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."


A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.


Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't pass in any legislature.


"The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Ninth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).


You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child, but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the children she bears.


Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of AWOL status is crucial to national security.


Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott CBS's "The Reagans" and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American remarks is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.

That's all I can say...

Yeah, I know. The democrat jab was ridiculous, but the republican one was right on the money!

Gotta love "right on the money" - yep - Republicans want me to KEEP MY HARD EARNED DOLLARS................

Democrats want to TAKE MY HARD EARNED DOLLARS.......