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December-23rd,2006, 03:22 PM
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But seriously, Happy Hollydays...
I saw this on a politically correct website. I thought it was funny.
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... May we also, without prejudice, and with due regard for the force of law currently enacted, wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country or area of choice), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual orientation of the wishee. This wish is limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. "Holiday" is not intended to, nor shall it be considered, limited to the usual Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances, or to such activities of any organised or ad hoc religious community, group, individual or belief (or lack thereof). Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason at all. This greeting is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for the wishee her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same. Batteries are not included or necessary This greeting is void where prohibited by law. Warning: reading this greeting may result in you understanding its contents. Neither PPC or any of its associated companies, employees, contractors, can be held responsible for any enjoyment, or lack thereof, that this greeting may cause, no matter how severe than enjoyment (or lack thereof) may be. 
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