Before Marriage


After Marriage

Oh my god this is great
Check out this would be strippers SKILLZ
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ONCE A MARINE ALWAYS A MARINE!

On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired Marine, and asked, Honey, do you remember this?"

He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married"

She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?

He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said; Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."

She giggled and said; "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"

He looked her up and down and said,"Mission Accomplished"

Dinner Date

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their
waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly
noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the
table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of
sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled,
apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table
and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just
slid under the table.

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he didn't. He just
walked in the door."

Doctor Dave
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:

"Dave.....
Dave.....
Dave, you sick bastard
You're a vet."

Hey guys new job allots me more time on the internets... LOL gonna miss that guy when he's gone. How has everyone been?

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LOL I may have finally kicked the addiction by switching for another... guitar

ahhhaa ha just for a few laughs I thought these were funny