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Key West, FL -
Commemorating the birth of a nation is generally a pretty staid affair, but not when the nation is the Conch Republic. Instead, the republic celebrates the anniversary of its founding with a "drag" race featuring female impersonators, an open-air bed race billed as "the most fun you can have in bed with your clothes on" and a packed roster of other events showcasing the Florida Keys' independent and eccentric spirit.
The annual Conch Republic Independence Celebration commemorates the day the republic seceded from the United States to form a fifth-world nation recognized by international public law as "a sovereign state of mind." The birth of the island nation, whose motto is We Seceded Where Others Failed, was prompted by a U.S. Border Patrol checkpoint set up at the head of the Florida Keys so that agents could search cars for drugs and illegal aliens.
It virtually halted traffic on the only road into and out of the Florida Keys, angering residents and visitors alike. Realizing that the Keys were being treated as a foreign country, local officials protested by staging the secession. In the media frenzy that followed, the Border Patrol checkpoint was quietly removed -- but not before the Conch Republic had captured the popular imagination.
The Conch Republic Independence Celebration will begin with a kickoff party at the Schooner Wharf Bar in Key West's Historic Seaport. Food, fun, music and a traditional conch shell-blowing contest will be among the attractions.
The following day brings the only festival event requiring stiletto heels and hairspray. The Great Conch Republic Drag Race, slated for the 700 block of Duval Street, will feature a gaggle of drag queens decked out in daring dresses, full makeup and teased tresses -- all racing down the pavement in their highest heels.
Other festival highlights include the "World's Longest Parade," so named because it begins at the Atlantic Ocean and proceeds to the Gulf of Mexico. The spirited parade will step off around on Duval between United and South streets. The quirky parade typically features impromptu floats, inline skating groups, local and visiting firefighters, musicians and colorfully painted "conch cruiser" cars and bicycles. Spectators are encouraged to follow the procession as it winds its way to the endpoint and a parade party at the Schooner Wharf Bar.
The action moves from land to the waters of Key West Harbor. The Conch Republic Naval Parade and Great Battle for the Conch Republic is sponsored by the republic's flagship schooner Wolf. The good-spirited battle pits the Conch Republic Navy against the reviled federal forces, with weapons ranging from water cannons to sponges to flying Cuban bread and vegetables. Spectators are invited to view the debacle from Bloody Battle Parties at the Sunset Pier at Ocean Key Resort, and the sunset deck and Bistro 245 at the Westin Resort & Marina.
Following the battle, a victory party is scheduled at the Schooner Wharf Bar to commemorate the Conch Republic Navy's triumph over the evil forces of the "United States Border Patrol." Partygoers will definitely have something to celebrate, since the Republic's naval forces never lose.
The festival's oldest and most famous event is the annual Conch Republic Red Ribbon Bed Race. Colorfully decorated and wheeled beds are propelled down Duval Street by runners during this daytime slumber party gone wild. "Bedlam" is virtually guaranteed. The race raises money for Key West's AIDS Help, Inc.
Among the other activities scheduled for the Conch Republic Independence Celebration are a fiddlers' contest at the Green Parrot Bar; the election of the Conch Republic royal family; a pedicab race benefiting the Conch Republic Foster Children's Fund; a "hog wild" party at the Hog's Breath Saloon; a sailing race to the reef that salutes Key West's early salvage industry; and a crafts show and food fest presented by Key West's Cultural Preservation Society.
For a complete schedule of events for the Conch Republic Independence Celebration, call 305.294.2298 or visit ConchRepublic.com. 
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